…. We all know this is a Kangaskhan, right?

DESIGN: 

Cubone’s design is simple, striking, and iconic. While the creature beneath is a very generic pokemon build, the skull really pops and the bone in hand brings that into the body. 

Narratively, though, the lore of Cubone just doesn’t work. It was fine in generation one where it fit in with the story, but as soon as you hit Gen II, the idea that there’s this Pokemon species wearing the skull of its death mother makes no sense when it’s mother’s literally right there, alive, healthy, and getting pounded by a Snorlax over and over because neither this Cubone nor its five hundred siblings are green. Sure, Cubone’s not illuminating the entire ocean from three miles deep, but this is still really stupid lore that only makes sense when every Cubone is a child of an unknown Pokemon killed by Team Rocket.

Also, Cubone aren’t tagged as Baby Pokemon, so Cubone can breed, which means you can have a Cubone whose mother is a Cubone that’s right over there seriously why are you crying you stupid lizard thing?

Cubone evolves into Marowak which is basically the same thing but with an integrated skull helmet and a few more pointy bits. It’s not the most original evolution, but it takes Cubone from looking like a mess in an oversized skull-hat to something with a skull-head that looks fierce and ready to kick some ass. All in all, it works great. 

Alolan Marowak is suitably bitchin’ and I’m fine with the twist to ghost type and setting the bone on fire, and the more slender appearance for dancing purposes, but how the hell is the Bone containing the spirit of its dead, vengeful mother if she’s seriously right there in the daycare center getting Masuda’d all night long? Look, I’m fine with Pokedex entries that exaggerate. I’m sure Alakazam doesn’t have 5000 IQ. I’m sure  Machamp isn’t half as powerful as the dex says it is. But this Pokemon’s entire concept is that it’s so upset its mother is dead, and that’s just not reflected in the gameplay after Gen 1. Further, what is this mythical mother? Was she a Marowak creating some sort of eternal cycle, or was she another Pokemon?

We’ve mostly all heard the Kangaskhan theory by now, and if you haven’t here’s a refresher:  The original Cubone Mother is a Kangaskhan, and the true form of Cubone is the Pokemon in her pouch. There’s a fair amount of circumstantial evidence for this (visual similarities, Kangaskhan having a baby that doens’t count as its own Pokemon, and most notably Cubone -> Kangaskhan being a clear SOS battle outlier), but the simple fact is that after all this time the games have never leaned into it.

So here’s what I’d like to see: A new Baby Pokemon. Kangaskhan hatching with a baby is stupid, so give a Pokemon that’s a Baby Kangaskhan. No need to design it- we’ve already seen what it looks like. Females naturally evolve into Kangaskhan at like level 25. Males evolve into some new, previously unseen Pokemon. And in proper circumstances, that baby pokemon can evolve into Cubone regardless of gender. 

And all Cubone, Marowak, and Kangaskhan babies would be this thing in the future, because neither Kangaskhan nor Cubone makes any freaking sense when hatched from an egg. 

Yes, this would require a mechanical retcon of previous stuff, but while we’re at it, let’s make Incense no longer necessary for anything, because all Snorlax babies should be Munchlaxes and it’s weird as hell that you need to drug your Snorlax to get a preemie if you want a Munchlax.

I got sort of off-topic here but the point is: Cubone and Marowak are cool designs with really stupid lore.

Behold: Someone else who wants exactly what I want!

EVOLUTIONS: 

I normally really like split evolutions, but Cubone does it in a weird way. In most places, Cubone becomes Marowak at level 28. In Alola, it only becomes Alolan Marowak at 28 if you level it up at night. What makes this weird is that if you level it up during the day, it just doesn’t evolve. If it was a day/night evolution split but either happened at 28, that’d be fine. What I don’t get is what’s stopping a regular Cubone in Alola from becoming a Marowak at 28 during the day.

As I said before, I would like to see a Baby version of Cubone to tie it to the Kangaskhan line, though mechanically that’s not really necessary. 

One other flaw with the Alolan Marowak evolution is the Abilities. See, Cubone and Marowak have the same three abilities in the same slots, so when a Cubone evolves into a Kantonian Marowak it keeps its ability. Alolan Marowak has two of the same abilities… but with the slots changed. This means a Cubone with Rock head will become an Alolan Marowak with Cursed Body, but a Cubone with Battle Armor will become an Alolan Marowak with Rock Head. That’s just confusing and unnecesarry and probably needs to be fixed.

Art by raizy

TYPING: 

Kantonian Marowak is the entirely solid pure ground type. Two resistances and an immunity with three weaknesses, and while Flying is immune to it and Bug and Grass are resistant, Ground is super-effective against five types, including the notoriously hard to hurt Steel type. Ground is a great type to have offensively and isn’t a problem defensively.

Alolan Marowak is Ghost/Fire, which is great all around. Both Ghost and Fire are good defensive types, resulting in a Pokemon that resists seven types and has two immunities, albeit with a reasonable five weaknesses. Offensively, Ghost and Fire are supereffective against a combined six types, and nothing resists both of them. Overall, the two types complement each other quite comfortably.

STATS:

Marowak and Alolan Marowak have identical stats, none of which are particularly noteworthy. 110 Defense seems like a lot, but is mostly balanced by 60 HP, and after that it’s just 80 Attack, 80 Special Defense, and a poor 45 speed. 

What makes this pokemon usable is a unique item, the Thick Club. Only usable by the Cubone line, an equipped Thick Club doubles the attack stat. At base alone this goes from 80 to 160, and that’s not even considering the extra attack power from IVs, EVs, and Nature.  This means, at the cost of the item slot, Marowak is one of the strongest physical attackers in the game. Yes, other Pokemon can compete with items like Life Orb or Choice Band, but those all have drawbacks. 

Marowak’s stats look poor, but it hits really, really, really hard.

Marowak Mirrored by TamberElla

ABILITIES: 

Both versions of Marowak can have Lightning Rod and Rock Head. Kantonian Marowak can have Battle Armor, while Alolan can have Cursed Body.

Lightning Rod is an interesting ability that’s designed for 2v2, but still useful to Alolan Marowak in 1v1.  Lightning Rod makes the pokemon immune to electricity (Which Kantonian Marowak already is), raises its special attack when hit by electricity (which no Marowak should ever use) and makes electric attacks target it when possible in 2v2s. This is a potentially huge deal when partnered with a Pokemon weak to electricity, especially something with a double weakness like Gyarados or Pelliper. With Alolan Marowak, adding yet another immunity to its already strong defensive typing makes this Pokemon even harder to take down.

Rock Head grants immunity to recoil damage and it, too, is a lot better on Alolan Marowak. While both Marowaks get Double-Edge, a 120 power normal move, Alolan Marowak also gets the STAB Flare Blitz. In theory, a Marowak can also get the Fighting move Submission, but as it can only learn that in Gen 1 it involves a lot of hard work to get that on a Marowak in a modern game.

Battle Armor grants immunity to critical hits.  This is fine. There’s no way to build for it or use it particularly strategically, but being able to avoid crits is nice to have.

Finally, Cursed Body has a 30% chance to disable a contact move that hits Alolan Marowak. This isn’t nothing, but it’s far weaker than Rock Head or Lightning Rod. Never use it.

Art by NegaNeon

MOVES: 

Alolan Marowak has a pretty heavy move advantage over Kantonian Marowak. The simple fact is, there’s no move Kantonian Marowak can learn that Alolan Marowak can’t, which is frankly unfair. We’ll start with Kantonian Marowak’s moveset.

Marowak’s main ground attack is Earthquake, because Earthquake.  There’s a few strategic reasons you might want Marowak’s signature attack, Bonemerang, instead, such as not hitting allies in 2v2 or getting multiple hits vs Pokemon with Sturdy or a Substitute, but generally Earthquake’s your go-to here. Besides, in 2v2 you’re probably hanging out with a Flying type that you can protect with Lightning Rod so Earthquake away.

Next is Stone Edge. Marowak needs Stone Edge. It’s super effective against the Bug and Flying types that Earthquake doesn’t work on, and it deals neutral damage to grass types. 

After that there’s not much coverage Marowak needs. Fire Punch works well on grass types, but most other moves it can learn, even when Super Effective, aren’t going to do any better than a STAB Earthquake.

Swords Dance is a great option, though good luck getting a moment to use it. Marowak’s defenses aren’t really high enough for it to take a turn off. Curse is also good, and Marowak doesn’t really care about losing its speed.

When possible, combining Marowak with Trick Room can be great, though it can’t learn that itself.

Knock Off, Substitute, and Stealth Rock all have their uses as well, but ultimately Marowak is pretty one-trick, and that trick is “Powerful Earthquake right out of the gate.”

Art by Siplick

Alolan Marowak is much more interesting.

Alolan Marowak gets Flare Blitz, which is a hugely damaging attack with recoil, but Rock Head negates that recoil. In a Lightning Rod build, Fire Punch can be used, but you might still just want to suck it up and eat the recoil.

For a ghost move, Alolan Marowak’s signature Shadow Bone attack is entirely solid, but the Isle of Armor move “Poltergeist” is going to be stronger in competitive battles. Keep in mind that in normal gameplay enemies rarely have items, so Poltergeist won’t usually work against NPCs.

Despite not having STAB with it, Earthquake or Bonemerang are still worth taking. Once again, Earthquake is stronger, but Bonemerang beats Substitute.

With so many resistances, even with the same defensive numbers, Alolan Marowak often CAN afford to use a turn to set up with Swords Dance, making it even better at killing everything that gets in its way. 

Now of course, anything Marowak can do, Alolan Marowak can also try, such as Substitute, Stealth Rock, and Knock Off, but why bother being tricky when you have 160++ attack and you can swords dance if you need to?

Like Kantonian Marowak, Alolan Marowak’s low speed means trick room can really help it, though its huge array of resistances make it less important. 

Guidance by KayVeeDee

OVERALL: 

Marowak is a solidly built Pokemon that suffers from a lack of versatility and any ability to actually take advantage of its abilities. Alolan Marowak wider type coverage, much better resistances, and ways to take advantage of both Rock Head and Lightning Rod, making it a much stronger Pokemon. 

This is a thing I’m starting to realize is a pattern in Regional Forms, making a Pokemon just better, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. On one hand, sure, Marowak needed a boost. On the other hand, Marowak is still kind of weak, we just now have an alternate, different Marowak to show it up. I think I’d prefer it if it were some sort of evolution, even a numerically lateral evolution like Scyther to Scizor.

Also all of its lore is just really, really stupid.