Survival of Abu-Ghraib Jail – Part IX

Dr. Ala Musa Hasan | Special to Ekurd.net

Grief and Loss

The Faili Kurds adult and youths who were forced to abandon their motherland Iraq and flee persecution and resettle in another country, often endure great physical and mental challenges during displacement. They also suffered a continuing hardships and poverty following their obligatory journey in a new community. Most of these Faili Kurds refugees came from a stable homes and a wealthier background, but they faced a long period of turbulence and uncertainty in their refugee displacement. They endured huge social, cultural, and linguistic difficulties in their new setting.

The exposure to the adverse events during the incarceration at Abu-Ghraib Jail had a huge psychological and emotional impact on the Faili Kurd’s settlement process. The degree of perceived personal threats and humiliations during their traumatic exposures was the cause for their generalized anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder. After their entry into their host country, their behavior was associated with a range of broad negative psychological problems in their refugee displacement. As well as, the parental exposures are more strongly associated with children’s mental health problems than are children’s own exposures, particularly if parents have been tortured, or are missing.

The liberation of the Faili Kurds youths from Abu-Ghraib Jail to the Iranian boarder was the beginning of something frightening and unknown, disturbing, and painful for them. At age 16, I was positioned at the Iraqi and the Iranian’s boarders, and I was lost and confused. I didn’t know who I was, what I am, where all my family and loved ones were. I felt Longley and lost. I didn’t know who I belong to, and what should I do and where should I go, and where could I find a place to call home. The level of stress and anxiety was so high, and I felt so numb and I did not know what side to turn to, Iraq or Iran. The level of stress and anger was so high even among those families that were at the boarder with us. I believe that I wasn’t the only one thinking and feeling that way, there were so many Faili Kurds people who are fighting the same exact emotional battle. We were all in this together. So no matter how embarrassed or pathetic that I felt about my own situation at that time, I already know that there were others out there who are experiencing the same shocking emotions with me.

We were all standing at the boarder and we didn’t know what to do and where to go. There were no instructions giving to us, other than being shot if we were to go back to Iraq. It was a cloudy and a chili day and we weren’t dressed accurately to the weather. I did witness many women and children feeling hopeless and they sat on the ground and they were crying at the boarder.

I didn’t like the level of stress and anxiety that I was experiencing, thus, I decided to move along by myself and cross the Iranian boarder. I placed my things on my back and I walked to the Iranian side with some level of fear. I wasn’t sure what the Iranians would think about a young guy crossing their boarders. I did walk for a long time and I came near their gate and it was open and there was no one there. Once I went through their gate, I kept on walking and not too long, I saw a man and he asked me in his Kurdish language, “Is there any families there too”? I said, yes there are many families and children. Then, he told me to sit at this “Chy-Khana” (which means Tee place). Once I entered “Chy-Khana”, I asked the person who was there, “Where am I”? He told me you are at Kasirshereen. Then, I saw many busses going toward the boarder to pick-up those families and youths.

I sat there for almost one hour until all those people arrived to Kasershereen. Not too long, they placed us all in those busses and we were headed to Browgerd camp where all the Iraqi refugees settle at that time.

Once I arrived to Browgerd camp, I was still inside the buss, I saw a girl whom I didn’t know calling my name, and I said to her “that is me”, and she told me that your mother is looking for you and I will tell her that you arrived. Then, I saw my mother talking to one of the camp’s guard and she told him that is my son. The guard told me you can go with your mother now. Once I walked out of the buss, I hugged my mother so tight and asked her about my father and my grandfather if they were there with her, but she replied with sad voice no they are still hostage in Iraq. I was so disappointed to hear that, and I was hopeful to see my dad with my family.

Then, she holds my hand and she told me to go home with her. When I got to her place, I saw my mother and my middle brother living under a tent. I asked my mother where are my other brothers and sisters, she told me they all went to Tehran and I refused to go because of you. When I looked around, I saw many Faili Kurds people living under those tents and that was the most painful and very sad scenery to see my family and community living under that dreadful condition and we left behind in Baghdad a beautiful large houses with expensive and comfort furniture’s.

This was the beginning of the Faili Kurds hardship and misery because they were forced to abandon their motherland Iraq and flee persecution and resettle in another country, and they endured great physical and mental challenges during their displacement. They had a hard time coping with the grief and loss and they suffered a huge hardships and poverty following their obligatory journey in a new community. Most of these Faili Kurds refugees came from a stable homes and a wealthy background, but they faced a long period of turbulence and uncertainty in their refugee displacement. We all endured huge settlement, adaptation, social, cultural shocks, and linguistic difficulties in our new setting.

Dr. Ala Musa Hasan, a Canada-based Faili Kurd, PHD Candidates in Clinical Psychology.

The opinions are those of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of Ekurd.net or its editors.

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