At 12 years old, Reece Hamilton stands at 5 feet and 11 inches and weighs 162 pounds. She would like the world to know her "numbers," she says, because "it's not about being skinny, it's about being healthy and strong."
This mantra was the subject of a two-minute video Hamilton and her mother, the volleyball player, athlete and model, Gabby Reece, recently posted on Facebook where Reece explains: "Some of us are bigger, some of us are smaller. The point is, we give so much [emphasis] to the scale, when we should be giving it to, 'How do we feel? Are we our own personal best?'"
Here, mother and daughter continue their honest and empowering conversation about body image for BAZAAR.com, discussing society's obsession with the scale, and how parents should teach their own daughters to love their bodies.
[instagram ]https://www.instagram.com/p/BHgAGCJhgHt/?taken-by=gabbyreece&hl=en[/instagram]
Gabby Reece: I talk a lot about bodies being strong and healthy. As a daughter who has been brought up with this mentality, what would your advice be to other moms hoping to teach their own daughters to have a healthy body image?
Reece Hamilton: It has to be their idea. You can't push them too much to think of themselves a certain way and eat healthy because it's hard to not want to eat junk food and its okay from time to time to do that. But if you work hard and you believe that's what will make you happy then it will be easier. So it ready has to come from the girl not so much the mom.
GR: I don't talk too much about my weight do I?
RH: No. You've taught me that it's not about being skinny it's just about being healthy and strong. I'm happy and don't really doubt myself at all; and I don't need much more than that. What about you mom, how long did it take for you to learn this and who taught you?
GR: For me it was something I had to adopt really early probably by 14 or 15 because I was so tall already. I was 6 foot 3 inches. It was a moment of, "well, you're not going to fit in so are you going to be tortured or are you going to embrace the fact that you know who you are?" So I think I picked it up early. What was also very helpful for me was getting involved in sports; there were quite a few other girls like me. Sport also has the mentality of "try to be stronger," so that was really helpful at that time.
RH: Why do you think society is such a slave to the scale? What will it take to free people from comparing or worrying about their weight?
GR: Well, I think it's all around us, in images and now even worse with social media. In my day it was just magazines and occasionally television, but now it's 24 hours a day on Snapchat or Instagram. In some ways I see it as worse than when I was getting older. We're becoming more unnatural with young girls doing things to their face with filler and eyelash extensions and all this over the top stuff. I don't really know, unless it comes down to something so serious happening in the world that we begin to refocus on what is essentially really important. But right now I feel like it's going to get worse before it gets better.
RH: At the end of our Facebook video, you thank me telling the world my weight. It's crazy that it's still taboo to talk about the numbers.
GR: I believe that once we start focusing on health, this will ease up. It's not just how you look in jeans and how your body looks, but also what you body does. Then you have a different kind of relationship with your body. You start looking at your body as something that can bring you great enjoyment and if you're healthy, you understand that's a gift. Certainly as I've gotten older and have been able to use my body to have children, you just have a different relationship with it. And nowadays, we're seeing weighing less doesn't mean you look better or that your body is even smaller—I mean there's times where different parts of your body mass can be smaller and you can weigh more. The conversation should still be centered around health.
RH: When you were my age did you ever feel self-conscious about your own height or weight?
GR: I always felt self-conscious about my height, not so much my weight. It was not popular to be 6 foot 3 inches by 15. But again, it's so funny how wherever you frame something is where it sits, so once I got into sports that idea of being bigger was celebrated so it's that reminder of the notion of beauty is in the eye of the beholder—we need to define it for ourselves and think "I'm going to celebrate who I am and not compare." I think that was really helpful, learning not to compare myself to others. But I think navigating that for all girls is really tough.
RH: Yea, I often come across girls who aren't confident in themselves and they don't believe that they're good enough. But I think that you need to learn to love yourself because you have to live with yourself everyday, and if people say mean things or tell you that you that you should be different you should ignore them and be happy with yourself.
GR: Why do you think that they feel that way?
RH: Because we give them unrealistic goals like you have to be skinny but you still have to be really curvy. And photos are edited and we feel like we have to look that way when really it's not realistic that we can, a lot of those girls aren't even healthy. I used to doubt myself a little bit, not so much about my height, but that I wasn't skinny enough. But then I realized that that doesn't do any good, and that doesn't make me happy. And I saw that there really are bigger problems in the world than the way you look. If you're in a stable home and a stable environment, if you're able to be healthy and eat food, then you should just be happy because you're lucky you are able to have those things. And I'm happy with myself now.
GR: It is already difficult to become a young woman—going through being a teenager, it's confusing. Are there things that you've found that make dealing with that easier?
RH: Yes, to just remember when people are mean or aren't always by your side, that's because they aren't happy with themselves and you have to be happy with yourself. You can be nice to them and teach them that being positive may help them and that will make you feel better at the end of the day.
GR: Now that you're getting a little older and you are by definition of the world that we live in a "bigger girl," are you enjoying it?
RH: Yes I am, I would not change it for anything.
GR: Would you not change it because you like the idea of being big or you wouldn't change it because it's just who you are?
RH: I think both. It is who I am but it has also shaped my personality because I am bigger and taller so I stick out more. I have learned to become more confident maybe because of that.
Olivia Fleming is the former Features Director at HarpersBAZAAR.com. Born in New Zealand, Olivia was raised with two basic beliefs: That deep respect for the earth is a given, and women are imperative to leading a successful, progressive country (two female prime ministers took office during her childhood). But after moving to New York in 2008, she quickly realized that her status quo was at odds with the rest of the world. In an effort to change that—and to legitimize women's duel interest in fashion, politics, and human rights—Olivia focuses on female storytelling. From long-form features and ambitious packages, to new podcast initiatives that elevate the magazine's content mix across platforms, she champions the stories no-one else is telling.
