👻 Ghosts, Ghouls, and Ghosting: The Spookiest Trend of 2023 Unveiled On Halloween!

In the last year, ghosting has crept its way from the tropes of dating and flaking to a more serious form affecting the professional relationship. This ghoulish behavior is nothing less than unsettling, if not outright frightening. I’ve had countless conversations with friends, colleagues and clients about similar experiences with this spine-chilling phenomenon. Story after story of folks being haunted by unanswered texts, emails, absences, and even unexplained no-shows.

Spooky references aside, it is a known fact that our reliance on digital communication devices and social media platforms has led to a decline in the quality of our face-to-face interactions. In what feels like a climax of rant culture on social media, it appears people are faced with going all-in, or hiding their heads in the sand. The reality is that screens have made it easier for us to avoid confrontation and accountability.

While flakiness may offer short-term relief from uncomfortable situations, it comes with a significant emotional toll. In 2023, we're witnessing the detrimental effects of these behaviors on mental health and self-esteem. No matter who you are, ghosting leads to feelings of rejection, anxiety, and loneliness. With these growing behaviors, I felt it was time to explore the nuance of why this is happening and define the edges of what feels right and wrong. Here’s where I landed:

1. Commitment-phobia is Real

With our hectic over-scheduled lives, people often hesitate to commit to plans, relationships, or even casual hangouts. I get it. The fear of an obligation can lead to people wanting to keep their options open and cancel plans at the last minute. Sometimes it’s a relief when someone cancels. But now we are seeing flakiness evolve to a behavior that is even more disheartening… the no-show. While still not as common in business, many are reporting that it is starting to creep up more and more. 

2. A Tough Economy for Business

Many companies are challenged with smaller budgets, and limited staff. Executive Leadership teams are often having to change direction on a weekly basis as they navigate a difficult economy. Yet the pressure to succeed is still real. As competition increases, individuals in the business world often find themselves juggling multiple commitments, trying to make it all work. The constant hustle to move projects and partnerships along, leaves little room for consistent follow-through, resulting in a business landscape rife with last-minute cancellations and unkept promises.

3. Accountability Amnesia

In the digital age, it's easier than ever to avoid accountability for one's actions. When plans, deals or promises are made through text messages or social media, there's a certain level of detachment from the other person's feelings and expectations. This detachment allows people to avoid the consequences, perpetuating the culture of ghosting.

4. Grass is Greener Syndrome

With over 10 years of dating app “swipes” behind us, I can’t help but wonder if those billions of interactions - or non-interactions - have fueled a plague of digital ghosting? Of course, there are plenty of references among many social apps that have created a disposable thumbs up-thumbs down physical behavior - and now studies show this indeed increases overall sadness in our society’s hearts. Sure, instant gratification can lead to a sense of control, but the thing to watch for is when we are always searching for the next best thing. Let’s make sure we don’t leave something good behind.

5. Digital Overload

I don’t know about you, but I’m shocked about how many communication platforms I’m currently balancing. Emails, IMs, LinkedIn messages, multiple Google accounts, texts… oftentimes talking to the same people in nuanced ways to maximize the benefit of each technology. It can get overwhelming, and at times, even leave us all emotionally exhausted. I believe there’s a good chance that this growing issue is happening because people are struggling to fully engage in any one moment as the pings come in from every direction. 

I often wonder about the fate of our relationships if we sometimes forget to treat each other like real, live humans. These convenient coping habits might seem like a quick fix, but in reality, they're chipping away at the trust and genuine connections that make us feel whole. Perhaps, like most cultural trends, this is just the effect of the pendulum swinging in the opposite direction. It’s strange to remember a time before all the screens and the demand for virtual connection - but it did, in fact, exist. As we move forward, let's not forget the power of a good, honest response. I get it, we can't answer every message that comes our way, but maybe we can just focus on the connections that really matter. It's okay to change your mind, say no, or even take a step back – we're all human, after all. So, how about we all make an effort to bring back the days of genuine, respectful communication.  Who’s in?