PARENTING: Preparing our kids for life's transitions

Life is full of transitions. We move from one activity to another. We move from one class to another, one job to another. Sometimes we move from one city to another. Transitions are inevitable but they can be very challenging for some people, especially children.

When kids are little, it can be an enormous challenge just to leave the playground and transition to the car to head home. But when parents adopt a preparation mindset, we can take some deliberate steps to help our kids mentally and emotionally prepare for the transition.

For younger kids, an old-fashioned egg timer is a powerful tool. Toss one in your purse. You will be amazed at how much it helps kids transition. On the way to the playground or play date or any place else you anticipate could be challenging for your child to leave, let your little one know that before it’s time to go, you are going to set the timer and give them a warning.

You can even do a practice run and let your child hear what the timer will sound like when it goes off. Let your child know ahead of time that as soon as the timer rings, it will be time to gather your things and say goodbye.

Five minutes before it’s time to go, let them know you’re setting the timer for five minutes and remind them that when it goes off, it’s time to leave.

Songs are another great help for transition. Singing goodbye songs and even going-to-bed songs can sweeten tough changes.

Speaking of bed, bedtime routines are also powerful transition tools. It can be very hard for children to end their day. The transition from waking to sleeping can cause distress in many kids. But a well-established bedtime routine helps make it easier.

Start by choosing quiet activities before bed. Be sure to turn off all electronics and glowing screens at least an hour before bedtime. The blue light from screens keeps kids awake.

You might want to give kids a bath before bed or perhaps you’re too tired at the end of the day and don’t have the energy for bath time. In that case, you could start with teeth brushing.

Reading together is a great thing to put in the bedtime routine. You could also spend a few minutes recapping the day and then top it off with bedtime prayers.

Another challenging transition for many kids is going to school for the first time or starting a new school. A little preparation can go a long way to ease pre-school jitters. Consider visiting the school and introducing your child to the teacher and other faculty members.

Having a few friends in the class can make a big difference in easing the transition. If it’s possible to contact parents before school starts and set up some play dates, your child could start school with a small friendship circle already waiting for him.

Whenever our children are facing a transition of any kind, we can adopt a preparation mindset and make the transition go more smoothly.

Jenni Stahlmann and Jody Hagaman are mothers with nine children between them, from an attorney to a pre-schooler, and one on the autism spectrum. Together they host a nationally syndicated radio show, “POP Parenting.” They are also freelance writers and international speakers. Get more information on their website, jenniandjody.com.