Gabby Reece on Why Women Shouldn’t ‘Succumb to Identity’
Carmen Rios
All products and services featured are independently chosen by editors. However, Flow Space may receive a commission on orders placed through its retail links, and the retailer may receive certain auditable data for accounting purposes.
Professional athlete turned podcaster Gabby Reece has some advice for anyone looking to reinvent themselves, get in touch with what they want, and figure out how to have it all. And it begins with letting go of everything everyone else thinks we should be.
In a conversation with She Media CEO Samantha Skey at the She Media Co-Lab on whole-life health at South by Southwest, Reece offered up her own hard-earned wisdom on prioritizing self-care at all costs, centering yourself in your pursuit of success, and facing down the inner resistance women face as they get older in an ageist society.
The Liberating Power of Self-Care
“I’m such a pusher of taking care of yourself, because the starting point for all of us is the better we feel, the better and the easier it makes everything else,” Reece explained. “The starting point is always self care, and to be ruthless and selfish about that, and to make that a priority.”
Reece was clear that she didn’t believe women could have everything all at once — but that “we can have everything, just not all at the same time, and it ebbs and flows.” By freeing ourselves from the expectations of our past, we make space for all that’s coming in the future.
Reece encouraged the women in the audience to “not succumb to, ‘well, I’ve been this, or were this,’ but to keep that kind of learning, open mindset, and allow ourselves to be all the different things that we’re going to be in our lifetime.”
Embracing the Pivot
The former beach volleyball player is no stranger to the pivot. Named one of Women’s Sports & Fitness 20 Most Influential Women in Sports in August 1997, she is also a serial entrepreneur co-leading food, apparel, and fitness brands; a model, television host, actress, and public speaker; a bestselling author and contributor to lifestyle and health magazines; and, most recently, the creator and host of her eponymous podcast about health, fitness, relationships, parenting, and business, The Gabby Reece Show.
“I think the one thing all of us can do is not succumb to identity, period,” Reece asserted. “When you’re a young girl, they say to be nice. Then you’re an athlete, they go, oh, you were the volleyball player. Sometimes I’m Laird [Hamilton]’s wife, whatever that means.”
Instead of accepting that, Reece encourages women to question it. “It starts there, where you just go: Who am I? What do I want to do? What really genuinely excites me? I’m going to do that. Because you cannot sustain being number one, you cannot sustain being relevant, you can’t sustain all these things, so you end up really trying to do that and chase that and it’s impossible.”
Redefining Success
Reece’s success might be made visible through a healthy body, financial gain, or high-profile achievements, but her mission has been more simple: “When I go to sleep, I think: Okay. I’m honoring myself today. And that usually leads you to pretty powerful places anyway.”
Taking care of herself has been a critical part of Reece’s success as a multi-hyphenate by giving her “runway to dream,” and to envision multiple paths to happiness. “The fact that I wasn’t groomed to be a professional athlete, I wasn’t groomed to be ‘successful’ — and I put that in quotes — really gave me always the freedom to say well, what do I feel like doing?… If you’re doing this job, in this moment, I still think it’s important, even though it is all consuming, that in your mind you’re parallel pathing where else and what other things might excite you in the future.”
Talking with experts for her podcast has proven to be an encouraging path for Reece. “The good news is that all the things that make us healthy, whether it’s our mental health or physical health, it’s pretty much all the same things, as confusing as it feels.” And mastering our health, she reminded attendees from the stage, “doesn’t have to be hours and hours every day,” as long as we can find consistency and follow a plan to get to where we want to be.
The hardest part, then, might be facing the inner resistance that comes with age, and being put in those boxes as we grow. “I would always encourage people not to go: I’m 30, I’m 40, I’m 50, this is how it is. I don’t actually think that’s how it is… You define it for yourself. And that doesn’t mean fighting wherever you are. It is what it is. It means not succumbing.”
Watch the full conversation:
