In the 90s, Steven Seagal was one of the most popular action stars in Hollywood. Since the 2000s, he has become the king of direct-to-video releases. In 2016 for example, he released a whopping six direct-to-video action films. Clearly, his work ethic cannot be questioned.
Before venturing into Hollywood, Seagal was a martial arts instructor, specializing in the Japanese technique known as aikido. It's thus not surprising that there are usually plenty of badass moments in his movies. However, more often than not, things tend to go overboard. Here are some hilariously badass things that probably only happen in Steven Seagal movies.
A Multi-Talented Ass Kicker
In his movies, Seagal is never just a tough guy who knows how to fight. He usually has several other skills that require plenty of time and effort to master. You can't help but wonder where he got the time to perfect them all. For example, in The Patriot, he's the world's best immunologist who also happens to be an ex-CIA agent and weapons expert.
In On Deadly Ground, he's an environmental activist, an ex-CIA agent, a firefighter, an oil rig worker, and an explosives expert all rolled into one. And in Under Siege—which was actually a very good 90s action movie—he's a chef, a restaurateur, and ex-Navy seal. It's obvious that the only reason for making him a chef was so he could use knives as weapons.
He Sliced Someone's Throat With A Credit Card
Steven Seagal normally survives just fine without weapons because he is so good with his hands and feet. He's a real-life martial artist after all. And whenever a weapon is lacking and he doesn't feel like using his hands, he does know how to improvise.
In The Glimmer Man, where he starred with Keenen Ivory Wayans, Seagal sliced someone's throat with a credit card. It must have been a really sharp one. Seagal has also stabbed someone with a broken plate among other things. Bruce Willis could never be that creative. Or could he?
Blocking All Incoming Punches And Kicks... Even Knives
One notable thing about Steven Seagal's fight scenes is that the enemy's punches and kicks rarely land on his body. His arms are the perfect shield. They normally manage to counter all the strikes. It's a surprise that he hasn't been made into a Mortal Kombat character yet.
And despite how deadly the villain or henchman is, Seagal tends to fight like he's not even trying. He handles fights so passively you'd think he's just shopping in a store. Normally, action heroes tend to get a beating before they recover and emerge victoriously. For Seagal, he's always dominant from start to finish.
Coma? No Problem
Medical experts can confirm this but we imagine that a person who has just woken up from a lengthy coma would be pretty weak. They'd need weeks or even months before being able to function at their full capacity again. A couple of people who woke up from comas also confirmed this to the Daily Mail a while back.
In Hard To Kill, Seagal plays a police officer named Mason Storm who slips into a coma after a shootout that leaves his wife dead. After waking up seven years later, he spends a few days recuperating and then he goes on a revenge mission where he beats up everyone as usual. Neither his strength nor his skills have diminished. If that isn't badass, we don't know what is.
Blending Into The Shadows
To make him appear as more intimidating, every Steven Seagal character normally blends into the shadows at some point. In an important fight scene, you can't see his face at first. Then it's shown just when he is about to break the bad guy's bones.
Before he appears out of the shadows, you can always guess what the bad guy is thinking: "Oh my God. He's coming. Should I run? Let me just take my chances. God help me." In Against The Dark, Seagal is covered in shadows for most of the film.
The Bicycle Kick
The bicycle kick is popular in soccer. It normally involves a player throwing their body in the wair then connecting with the ball before it touches the ground. Now imagine this in a fight scene. It wouldn't look so realistic, would it? Steven Seagal pulled it off in 2001's Exit Wounds, and it ended up being one of his cheesiest movie moments ever.
It all happens when he confronts a gang of robbers attempting to break into his truck. He proceeds to beat them all up pretty easily but when one of them points a gun to his head, it seems like the end of the road for good ol' Steve. The thug pulls the trigger, but surprisingly, Seagal dodges the bullet by simply pulling his head back. He then throws his body in the air and delivers a bicycle kick to his face. Wow! Note to criminals: Do not attempt to rob Steven Seagal.
Solving All Issues By Fighting
Even in the action-filled 80s and 90s movies starring the likes of Stallone and Schwarzenneger, the heroes never really fought unless there was a good reason to. However, in Steven Seagal movies, fighting is normally the only way to solve all disputes. Didn't he ever listen to that Kenny Rogers song?
Take Fire Down Below for example where Seagal is Jack Taggart, a carpenter, and environmental protection officer (see the irony?). Seagal's character goes on a mission to stop a factory from dumping waste illegally. Normally, environmental control agencies close such companies down, fine them or sue them. They don't send armed agents to beat up the bosses, do they?
Taking Out Bad Guys In Their Own Countries
Steven Seagal enjoys beating up non-Americans and non-Russians. He's a citizen of both countries after all. And he normally decimates them in their own country, where they'd logically have an advantage. In Into The Sun, he was a CIA agent (ain't that familiar?) who went to Japan and almost made the infamous Yakuza extinct by killing nearly all its members.
In Out Of Reach, he made the Polish government realize that maybe they should just employ him and fire the whole police force. In the movie, Seagal single-handedly took down Polish criminals who were operating a human-trafficking ring.
Whisper, Don't Shout
In something similar to Marlon Brando in The Godfather, Seagal prefers whispering in his movies instead of raising his voice. And he does so with an accent whose origins are hard to trace. This sure does make him look more badass than everyone else in the movie.
To those who hate Stallone's constant shouting, Steven Seagal is a worthy alternative. He'll say it once. If you don't get it, he'll remind you with a kick. Give the man an honorary Oscar already. Acting the way he does take a lot of skill we presume.
Law Breaking Cop With No Consequences
Steven Seagal has played law enforcement officers in plenty of movies. In most of them, he goes on a law-breaking spree in order to get to the group of criminals he's hunting. And the criminals always end up dead instead of in jail. Judge, jury, and executioner? We get it. But why doesn't he suffer any legal or professional consequences?
In Kill Switch, for example, he assaults over 100 people during his hunt for a serial killer known as Lazerus. Some of the beatings lack justification. And it's surprising that none of them sues him. It sure does make him appear badass but you have to wonder about the logic of it all.