Uh oh. Miley Cyrus is at it again! Every once in a while she detects a disturbing calm wash over the land, and she knows that the nation’s finger-waggers and watchful stewards of the patriarchy have gotten too complacent. So she does something wild and wicked to rile them back up again. Long ago it was a photo shoot in which she, fiendishly, bared her naked back. Years later it was, of course, her performance at the Video Music Awards, a feverish tarantella of innuendos and insinuations that had all the town fathers blustering in their beards about the sexual flagrancy of a lewd young woman.

But that was ages ago, and Miley has wisely decided it’s time once again to rustle the chickens. So she’s posted two new Instagram photos. In the first one, she is nude save for a small pair of underpants, and she’s captioned it “#preshoweralfalfaselfie,” presumably because her hair is swooped up into a little point like the character Alfalfa from the Our Gang series, which of course Miley Cyrus starred in from 1935 to 1937. So that ought to get the busybodies in a bunch. The second photo, entitled “#postshowerinstagramwhoreselfielife,” features Cyrus lying on some sort of bed, this time with a brassiere on, displaying several of her tattoos. Heavens! And she even got out ahead of the Miss Mannerses by using the word “whore,” right there in the hashtag. Surely everyone’s going to scream and blather on about this forever, right?

Well, probably not, actually. Partly because Instagram is a more closed system than the VMAs so fewer people will be exposed to it, but also because, sadly for Miley, she has lost some ability to shock. We already know who she is and what she’s about, right now anyway, so it’s really not all that surprising to see her in her unmentionables. It’s possible that, if Miley wants to continue the grand and truly important tradition of getting stuffy old sexists in a snit about a woman making reference to her anatomy, she needs to find some sort of protege. Some younger, squeakier famous person who can take the baton and do her own provocations. Because it’s good work, ruffling all those idiots’ feathers. I just don’t think Miley can do it anymore. Unless she does something really extreme, but I don’t want her to get in actual trouble or anything. So, best to pay it forward, to bequeath the gift to a successor. Twerk on, brave sister spirit! Twerk ever on. [Us Weekly]

Father’s Day was yesterday, so dads across the nation, nay the globe, enjoyed a day of kids saying, “Oh right, happy Father’s Day,” at about five P.M. It’s a great holiday. And it’s not just for us lowly mortals kicking around down here in the mud of obscurity. Famous fathers, gods with mighty offspring, also celebrate the holiday, doing all sorts of things, I’d imagine. We don’t have to imagine how Kanye West’s first Father’s Day went, though, because his dutiful documentarian wife, Kim Kardashian, snapped a photo and posted it on Instagram.

In the picture, West is asleep with baby North West, who turned a year old yesterday, cradled in his arm, also asleep. In the photo caption, Kim wrote, “This is what life is about! Our baby girl turned 1 today! We played so hard they passed out while we were watching the game! Happy Father's Day to the best daddy in the world! The way you love our daughter and protect her makes me filled with so much love! #BestDayEver #Twins #HappyFathersDay #HappyBirthday” Which is cute! That is nice. Glad they had a good day.

Though, hm, looking at the picture more, doesn’t one or both of them appear to be faking sleep? They look a little too peaceful and posed, like a kid who pretends to be asleep when a parent comes in to check on them at night or something. Pretending to be asleep just to see what happens when someone thinks you are. Or, in this case, pretending to be asleep for a photo op? I can see why Kanye would do that, but why baby North? Is she already practiced in the family business of pretend? Who knows! Maybe they really are asleep. But I feel like a second after this photo was snapped that one or both of them opened an eye just a bit to see if the coast was clear. Call me a suspicious Aloysius, but don’t we have reason to be skeptical of everything this family does? [Us Weekly]

Meanwhile, Kim’s mom, Kris Jenner, is apparently mad that her daughter and son-in-law didn’t take the approximately $10 million that was offered to them to sell their wedding photos. That’s what Page Six says they were offered to release their photos to the world, but they said no. Jenner, who gets a cut of whatever Kim makes because she’s her manager, or “momager” as some outlets continue to insist on calling her, wishes they’d said yes. Because why wouldn’t Kris Jenner want a cool million bucks for doing nothing? I mean, nothing beyond giving birth to Kim Kardashian some three millennia ago, or however long these irradiated creatures have been roaming the land. I can understand why, privately at least, Kris Jenner would think “Aww fiddlesticks!” when Kim and Kanye said no to the money, thus denying Kris her sweet, sweet payday. But hopefully she wasn’t outwardly upset about it. Hopefully she didn’t stomp around or yell or needle passive aggressively. Hopefully she took it in stride and smiled and said “O.K., I understand” and then took her granddaughter for a stroll or something. If that’s how she behaved, then I think we can forgive her a little quiet, internal angst. But if she raged on the outside, if she threw a cell phone or hurled a potted plant through a sliding glass door or did any kind of damage to a gazebo, then I think we can all do that tsk-tsk finger thing and say for shame, Kris Jenner. For shame. [Page Six]

What the heck is going on with Bradley Cooper these days? First he was wearing short-shorts on the set of his new movie. Then he was squeezed into a tuxedo looking like he couldn’t breathe at the Tonys. And now he’s gone and worn a T-shirt and cargo pants to a movie premiere! Is he between stylists or something? Look, he’s Bradley Cooper, so he’s always going to look good. But dang. A stained T-shirt and cargo pants? Really it’s the cargo pants that get me. What is this, someone’s 14th birthday party in 1999? No! It’s a movie premiere, in 2014! So put on some pants with the regular, acceptable amount of pockets. If he wanted to wear a T-shirt, stained or not I guess, he could have paired it with some nice dark jeans or something and looked O.K. But khaki cargo pants and hiking sneakers? I don’t know, Bradley. I don’t know what is going on but I don’t like it. The only acceptable explanation for this is that he was walking by the premiere and it was laundry day so he was wearing whatever dregs of his wardrobe he had left and someone was like “Bradley! Bradley! Take a picture with us?” and so he agreed. That’s it. Any other explanation does not forgive the cargo pants. Very little on this beautiful, troubled Earth forgives cargo pants. [Daily Mail]

I know it’s awful that they were snapped by paparazzi, and we, sincerely, should not be encouraging that behavior and that business by posting links to the photos here, but I have to tell you that there are new photos of Anne Hathaway’s new puppy and it is a very cute puppy. It has the little forlorn face that makes so many puppies, and grownup dogs, so adorable. And it’s being held by Hathaway, probably because it’s too young to walk on a leash. So. Look if you want. I will respect your principled stance if you say, “No, I will not condone the actions of the paparazzi.” I mostly agree with you. But if you like photos of cute puppies being held by movie stars, then you might not be able to resist, and I understand that too. Make your choice, either way. [Daily Mail]